Anecdotes
01 January 2003

Ann Widdecombe

Ann and I perform in the theatre in our show “A Night with Ann Widdecombe”. The title of the show gives many men a chance to do something they never thought possible. I’ve known Ann for a few years now. I first met her at Politico’s when we had made some badges saying Doris Karloff for Tory Leader. She found this hilarious and bought several dozen of them. Another Ann Widdecombe line in merchandise was a set of political knickers. A nice black lacy pair with Something of the Night emblazoned across the front. The next time she came into the shop I presented her with a pair and to her credit roared with laughter. But she was juts leaving the shop when I noticed she had left them on the counter. So I yelled after her “Annn, you’ve forgotten your knickers!” And there can’t be many men that have said that to Ann Widdecombe.

We've done about 20 of our theatre shows all around the country. Sometimes I drive, which it has to be said is not something Ann looks forward to. She's a very good backseat driver, if you get my drift. I remember one time, we had been to Porthcawl in South Wales and we'd had nothing to eat all day. After the show we stopped to get some petrol and stocked up on a bit of junk food - right in the middle of her diet. I got onto the M4 and started opening the sandwich and packet of crisps and can of lilt. Ann nearly had a fit - OK I was driving with my knees but it was perfectly safe! "Do you not think you ought to have at least one hand on the steering wheel!" she screamed. So I got my own back. I made her listen to the Pet Shop Boys for the rest of the three hour journey back. She's never forgiven me.

I asked her one day if people reacted differently to her now she's gobe blond. She said "people speak to me now, much m o r e s l o w w w w l l l y y y".

The Job of an MP

Christine Hamilton tells me to beware of some pitfalls of saying the wrong thing in political speeches. She spent nearly thirty years as a secretary in the House of Commons. On one occasion, when working for her husband Neil, she says her workload exploded overnight after a speech Neil made in the House of Commons during a debate on artificial limbs. Neil Kinnock had been speaking for what seemed like hours – not an unusual occurrence – berating the Thatcher Government for not spending enough money on artificial limbs, so Neil intervened. “Does the Right Honourable Gentleman realised he doesn’t have a led to stand on?” he asked. Whether he realised quite what he had said we shall never know, but his gaffe was publicised so well that the entire disabled community wrote in to complain.

Politico's

* Soho pub bomber
* Tramps
* Hit in face with books
* ITN Election rehearsals
* John Precott
* Ken Livingstone Congestion Charge
* Ken Livingstone falling off chair
* Arms deal

Media

* Sunday Service Richard Caborn
* Pat Murphy finger
* Frank Dobson
* Oneword - Mo Mowlam

Norwich North

* Westminster Circle
* Ian Gibson leaflet
* Radio Norfolk phone in